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10 April 2006 @ 07:02 pm
Hm....lets see here
I wonder how many times the world has turned since I got on this computer
I feel like an ass just sitting here watching the day turn to night
A beautiful day wasted by the sloth in me
A beautiful story wasted by the envy in me
I'm watching the world change through a little glass box
I have goals,
Plans,
Ambitions,
Dreams,
I have everything perfected in the mind of mine
But like a dreamer and a dream
The world never seems to understand
I didn't need to take your 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' to understand
I've been cracked like a nut
I feel like I've reached and understanding of what I must do
She said 'Do what you love. Not what your good at.'
Did I just find the White Rabbit to my Wonderland?
Because I've cryed my puddle of tears
Swam in them and all
I've had my dreams lived out in my mind
Perfected and corrected till time came to an end
But will my dreams get me where I need to go?
Will his words get me to the place I want to be?
Or will I follow the dreams till it's 'Of with her head'?
But what ever it is
I know it'll get me somewhere
And once there I'll know what to do.
The white rabbit brought me here
But he can't take me out.


-Go Ask Alice



Sgt. Pepper
 
 
Current Location: The Queens Castle
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: White Rabbit
 
 
21 March 2006 @ 10:19 pm
Cut  
Cut
Cut
Cut
That one thing changed it all
Well actually it was his love for the little girl
She spent the night at this house
They did nothing wrong mind you
But now he can't see her
So he decided to
Cut
Cut
Cut
But he had her
She loved him so much
She's trying to get him help
But he 'can't talk to adults'
So she's stuck wondering what to do
As he continues to
Cut
Cut
Cut
Because he misses the girl
The one that loves him with a passion
Watches from the side lines
She can't eat, she can't drink, she can't sleep
She can barely breath with out worrying about him
Cut
Cut
Cut
I have to make her cry
Right infront of his eyes
Because he can't see what he's doing to her
Pulling her at all sides
Cut
Cut
Cut
She comes to me begging
'Audie I need you'
Because who is she to run to?
With no one she can tell
No one to cry on
I'm the only one who knows what's going on
Cut
Cut
Cut
And her world keeps spinning
While he keeps the fuel going
He's fueling her angst every minute
I'm running out of things to tell her
Besides 'Drop him and leave'
Cut
Cut
Cut
Because she loves him to much
To do that to Steve
She's afraid if she does that he'll do more then just
Cut
Cut
Cut
She's afraid he may kill himself
Because she left him
But I'm afraid she may kill herself
Because of his
Cuts
Cuts
Cuts
 
 
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Current Music: I Wasn't Prepared-Eisley
 
 
Anyways....
Mother says I'd make a good ruler, or dictator.....
Yes....
World domination, and owning Board Walk
My life is complete
It's cold, and windy, and cold
Bennington ranked 5th windiest in all of New England
Can anyone say, huh?
Oh about my last entry
Sorry
I was caught up in the moment
He's fine, he got caught
Idiot
That's what he gets for telling Callen
Who told Kristina
Who probably told the world through loud speakers

Happy Belated Valentines Day
Mine was just dandy
But note the sarcasm
A bear, chocolates, a card, and a rose
Doesn't he get it that he can't buy my affection?
Well lets hope he doesn't do it again, hopefully
Now I'm the prime example in my class room of how to twist words
Twisting in a good way, mind you

Barnes-"Here are some good examples that Audie sent in..."
Katie-"Aww...Audie..."
Barnes-"I went into surgery and he un-stitched my heart..."
Whole Class-"I like that one!"
Barnes-"She cried a puddle of tears then swam in them.."
Whole Class-"I like that one to!"


Creepy as hell just to...let'cha know. If it was only Christmas season again. I wish someone would place a bow in my hand and tell me 'Your all I want for Christmas'. Long shot is my name, and making wishes is my game....



-I'm the master, bow to me....
 
 
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: A Favor House Atlantic- Coheed and Cambria
 
 
01 February 2006 @ 09:21 pm
That he's really going to do it
I'm not even sure why he's even out on the street
This is the second time they've done this to him
He doesn't deserve this shit
Look at what his life was like since the day he was born
And you do this to him!?
That's low and wrong
They should be ashamed of themselves
They stuck him in a building
With cameras and alarms
'It's like being in lock down'
15 years old, who needs that?
Now he's not going back
He's hitting the high road
Leaving us all behind
Quiting school, quiting his job, quiting on everything
All because they thought he was smoking
He wasn't failing school
He wasn't doing drugs
He was finally on the straight line
For once in his life
Everything was looking good for him
And you yanked it all away
Called the cops on him
Put him in a cell
Well congratulations
You fucked up big time
He's not coming back
He won't even tell us where he'll be
And to tell you the truth
I'm terrified for him
He won't have an education
A job
A life
He'll be in hiding till he's 18
Then what?
What'll he do?
Good job guys
If this was your goal
You did a great job
I wish I could only do more for him.......




-The Sight Of His Face Makes Me Want To Cry, He's All Alone.




-Audie
 
 
Current Mood: scaredscared
Current Music: Weeping Willow - The Hush Sound
 
 
28 January 2006 @ 09:01 am
Saturday Morning 9:02AM
And I'm Tied Down
Anyways......
I'll have to call Kristina later to tell her I'll see the movie
FYI- I'm going to the movies with Callen, Kristina, and Wayne
Callen wants to see 'Big Mamma's House'
Might as well there's nothing better to pick
My hair is still wet from last night's shower and Depeche Mode
And his phone call is still on the answering machine
"He sounds like a nice boy"
Yeah.....
You've only heard one message from him, way to judge
I hate the smug smirks they all have plastered to their faces
Lets rip them all off for some fun
I'll never be able to date, love, anything because it'll hurt him
And they'll hate me
I'm not even remotely interested in him
Don't like him that way
I'm not even dating him
Now tell me
Is that screwed up or what?
Should I go anonymous or let them know I'm back?
I need to get some stories off my chest
But after the scene that was made
I'm not quite sure that would be a good idea
It's been months since I've heard from her
Driving my train? Yes, how did you guess
I know she's busy I don't blame her
But waiting is what's driving me crazy
I need to write something
And I need to write something now
This isn't working
'The Da Vinci Code' is an excellent book
Not quite sure if I believe it
But even if it is false
It's an amazing story plot-line
And amazing characters
Over all and amazing idea of a book
'A Million Little Pieces' may hold false info
But what the hell
Oprah and that other little news thing aren't going to stop me from loving it
Even if she didn't hang herself, isn't that better?
But finally, Oprahgotit
Panic! At The Disco
Bullet For My Valentine
P.O.D.
The Exies
The Audition
and
The Music
All need to be praised for their amazing albums
Oh and
Seal
Because he's simply amazing
Read the original versions of 'Alice's Adventures In Wonderland'
And 'Through The Looking Glass'
He may have been on something
But his writing is absolutly brilliant
Crazy meet Shakespeare
Genius
OrangeLeavesInJune
-FriendsOrEnemies
Isn't that site the shit or what?


-What's a word that begins with F and ends with UCK?



-Audie
 
 
Current Music: Faces In The Hall- Gym Class Heros
 
 
15 January 2006 @ 05:25 pm
If you knew that you would die today,
Saw the face of God and love,

Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that love can break your heart
When your down so low you can not fall

Would you change?
Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction could cause an effect?

Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change?
Makes you change?

If you knew that you would be alone,
Knowing right, being wrong,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that you would find a truth
That brings up pain that can't be soothed

Would you change?
Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?

Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change?
Makes you change?

Are you so upright you can't be bent?
If it comes to blows are you so sure you won't be crawling?
If not for the good, why risk falling?
Why risk falling?


If everything you think you know,
Makes your unbearable,

Would you change?
Would you change?

If you'd broken rule and vow,
And hard times come to bring you down,

Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that you would die today,
If you saw the face of God and love,

Would you change?
Would you change?
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you saw the face of God and love
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?
Would you change?



You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere

Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

You see my old man's got a problem
He live with the bottle that's the way it is
He says his body's too old for working
I say his body's too young too look like his
My mama went off and left him
She wanted more from life than he could give
I said somebody's got to take care of him
So I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

So remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my sholder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone


You got a fast car
And we go cruising to entertain ourselves
You still ain't got a job
And I work in a market as a checkout girl
I know things will get better
You'll find work and I'll get promoted
We'll move out of the shelter
Buy a big house and live in the suburbs

So remember we were driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a felling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone


You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

So remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round me shoulders
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone


You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so you can fly away
You gotta make a decision
You leave tonight or live and die this way





These two songs go out to all those people that get sick. That lie on their bathroom floors wishing for it all just to end. That wish for a way to get out of the place their in. That know they've hit rock bottom but like the way it looks down there. That wish to belong to be someone. To proove themselves to no one yet everyone at the same time. The people that are just like me.


-I didn't have to make these songs to have them come from my mouth


-Audie
 
 
Current Music: Change and Fast Car - Tracy Chapman
 
 
14 January 2006 @ 11:04 am
But I'm back.
It's a Saturday morning
I'm home alone
The only things keeping me company are
My dog, who's, downstairs on the couch
And
My television
Which is currently playing some Digimon movie on some tv channel
My hands are cold
And the food I put in the microwave is still beeping for me to come and get it
It's raining outside
The stream out back
Is so close to flooding
It's not even funny
Just a little more rain god
Just a little more rain
Um......
The phone keeps on ringing
Yet they don't leave a message
People should know by now
That we screen our messages
If we didn't
I'd spend half my life talking to telemarketers
They suck ass

I'm tempted to just gather up a bunch of my dvd's and videos
And take the video player and dvd player into my room
Get a bunch of food
And stay in there all day
But I have shit for finals
And all that jazz
And it sucks.....

Stephie IM'ed me and told me that it was all good
That she won't be crying as much any more
Hopefully
............
I have no clue what she's talking about
Only the crying part
Even though it's WAY over done
Moving on

March 15th
At 5:30
I'll be, with Stephie
At the Pepsi Arena
Aaron and a bunch of his friends will probably be there
If you see a gay guy with pink-tipped hair flashing the band
Then that's him......
Anyways...
We'll be there for the

Fall Out Boy
All-American Rejects
Hawthorne Heights
From First To Last
and a special guest
(Even though I already know it is)
((Not so special any more huh?))

and there first stop on the 'Black Clouds and Under Dogs Tour'

I'll be in the Third row, on the floor, in the 20th seat
Stephie will be in the Fifth row, on the floor, and I think the 13th seat, can't remember

We'll work something out........
I'm so excited for this!

I had to pay for my ticket though
While Stephie, who is frickin' rich, had her mom pay for her's
Far? I think not.


Last weekend I watched
'Clandestine Industries Presents Release The Bats'
And
'The Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King'
All day with my sister
She thought the Lord Of The Rings was going to suck
The Lord Of The Rings can NOT suck
It rocks my shoes off and so much more
I can't even remember what I did on Sunday
My mother was home from work that day.....
But I still can't remember, which is sad

Well......

I need to go eat, something
Probably the thing beeping in the microwave
And take the dog out
When I'm dressed though.....


Spanish is over in 4 days bishes
Holocaust Studies the same, damn

Then it's Science with Cross
(Who's an ass might I add)
Vietnam and the 60's with some teacher that nobody knows about
(Oh joy!)


Damn, I don't have my Julius Caesar book.....
I'm screwed


-Audie
 
 
07 January 2006 @ 07:39 pm
I love her, I really do
She's one of my great friends
But I see what her sister sees
Her actions only read one way
Revenge
This isn't for love
Or even for like
This is about stabbing him back
And what better way then to date his band mate?
But isn't it ironic
That the same guy that happens to be
Is the same one I've come to fancy?
The same one that I've had my eye on for
Longer then she can imagine?
Her crush is but a recent thing
Mine has been here since the beginning
Now I understood why last year
I was called Envy
Because all I see is green
I feel joy for him yet pity to
Because I know that he likes her
And has gotten what he wanted
But the pity is for the fact
That he may be just a revengeful scheme
And that breaks my heart
But I'm glad that he's happy
Even if it may only be for a while
I'm never one to get my way
Always the one to sit on the sides
With my green, envious eyes
Maybe I'll have whatever it is that he wants
But by then it'll be to late
Because he'll have a broken heart


-"What did you do?
I don't want to talk about that right now.
Why?
Just don't
What do you want to do?
I want to kiss you again
Because you're thinking of her?
No, because I'm thinking of you"



-Envy
 
 
Current Mood: enviousenvious
Current Music: It's About You - Train
 
 
01 January 2006 @ 04:54 pm
A New Year has come
Time to rid yourself of your hangover and get to the resolutions
The party was great
Confetti, friends, family, and music
What better way to ring in the New Year?
My resolutions this year....
Are to keep you close
Be myself
And have fun
One day.....I'll look back on this, and so will you
And we'll laugh at it, just laugh
Because everything about it was stupid and childish
I want this year to be care free and fun
I want to lose all the drama
I'm half way through and I can't believe I made it
I can't believe you made it
One day we'll look back on this and say
We were just stupid kids
We were just having fun
I shouldn't have done that
I should have done that
But I wouldn't change it for the world
This was a make or break year
And look, we're not broken yet
My New Year's resolutions are vague and hazy
But they are as clear as crystal water to me
And I know how to make them work for me, and you....all of you
I just want to say....

Congratulations
You made it

Now lets just hope you make it through this year and to 2007



-A Brand New Year, Hopefully, A Brand New Girl



-Audie
 
 
Current Music: Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield
 
 
29 December 2005 @ 05:53 pm
Changed my screen name and email address

xLameLiarx@aol.com

Because I ame a Lame Liar.....

Christmas has come and gone and so will another year
Another year that could make or break me
Tear me down or raise me up
I'll hope for the best
I never make new years resolutions
Because I never end up fulfilling them anyways
And my goals change just like the seasons
I could make one though...
To keep you in my heart
Because you may just be the one thing that keeps me sane
Keeps my routine regular
With out you I'd be all over the place
Lying on the floor
Dancing on the ceiling
Dying on my bed
With out you I'd simply forget to breath one day
And they'd forget I even existed
So that's my one resolution
To keep you close
Even though you'll never notice with all that you have
All the guys that wish to be you
And all the girls that wish to be with you
I'm just another name on that long list
Wishing just to be with you
I'll make this year the best
Maybe I'll have the nerve to leave you a comment
Have the nerve to even utter your name
Maybe this year will be different then all the rest
Maybe....
 
 
Current Music: A Letter To Dominique - Louis XIV